Reasons Why It Is Important to Set Limits With Kids

Limits Teach Kids Self-Discipline

Setting limits teaches self-discipline skills. When you say, “It's time to turn off your video game and do your homework,” you are teaching self-discipline. Even though video games may be more fun, it's important to be responsible.

Help your child develop strategies that will impose limits on himself. Tell a young child to "beat the timer" when he's getting dressed in the morning and set a timer for five minutes. Or, tell an older child she can watch TV as soon as she gets all of her homework done.

Limits Keep Kids Safe

Limits teach kids how to keep themselves safe. Although it might be safe for your child to play outside, he might need limits about what he’s allowed to do or where he’s allowed to go when he’s playing outside alone.

Give your child opportunities to show you that he can be responsible with the limits you’ve given them. If they're able to handle the limits you’ve set, they can show that they're ready to handle more responsibility.

Create behavior management contracts to help your child understand concrete ways you'll recognize when they need fewer limits.

Limits Keep Kids Healthy

By nature, most kids are impulsive and enjoy immediate gratification. Therefore, they need adults to teach them how to be healthy.

Limits should be set with a child’s eating habits, for example. Without limits, many kids would eat junk food all day. Setting limits means saying, “No, you can’t have a third cookie,” or “You need to eat a healthy choice first.”

Limits should also be set in regards to electronics. Many kids would be content watching TV or playing on the computer all day long.

Limits Help Kids Cope with Uncomfortable Feelings

Sometimes parents avoid setting limits because they don’t want to make their child sad or mad. But, learning how to deal with uncomfortable emotions is actually an important skill.

Just because your child is sad that they can’t eat that third cookie doesn’t mean you should give in. Instead, it gives you a great opportunity to teach your child about feelings and help them find healthy ways to cope with it.

Instead, teach them how to do those things for themself. Kids who know how to handle uncomfortable feelings will be better equipped for the realities of adulthood.

Limits Show Kids that You Care

Often, kids test limits just to see how adults will react. A child who hits their sibling might feel relieved when their parent steps in. Or a child who jumps on the couch after you've told them to stop might be testing your leadership skills.

Givingnegative consequencesfor breaking the rules, shows that you are not going to let things get out of control. It also teaches a child that you love them.

Saying to a teen, “I care about you and that’s why I am giving you a curfew,” might annoy your child on the surface. But, it shows that you are willing to work invest energy into your child’s life even if it means having to tolerate hearing “you're the meanest parent ever.”